Today was one of those days I was warned about. One of those hot, summery, sunny, days where everything is going really well, and then BAM! This grey thundercloud enveloped me out of no where. It was a day that other moms of special needs children warned me about. A day where I would once again mourn. A day where my anger and sadness would yet again grip me and decide they wanted to hang out with me for the day. What really sucks is that there is no warning leading up to it. Your baby is doing great and you really have no reason to be upset. Yet, at the same time, you do. Because what you had anticipated and built up in your mind is not the reality you were faced with. There are times you get tired of being positive. Tired of it taking 45 minutes to feed your child when other babies are eating the same amount in ten minutes. Tired of doctors appointments. Tired of stares. Tired of feeling drained. Tired of the " you are doing a great job", which translates into I'm so glad it isn't me! Tired of explaining. YOU GET TIRED!
So that is where I am today. It makes me feel better to write those things. Makes me feel normal again!
We welcomed Sophia Grace Brooks into the world on April 8th, 2012. She was born with an extra chromosome, which we think makes her extra special. This is HER story and our FAMILY journey.
Lisa, You are the most positive person! Your beautiful baby is new and growing, and beautiful! Take some time out and go to dinner or shopping. If you need me, just call!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! You're a wonderful mom!
I remember when Joey was a baby and we had health problems to deal with, and I felt like I was his mom and I was supposed to make it all better and I couldn't. I would get so down on myself. I remember many tears. Just remember God won't give you anything you can't handle. Even when it seems like you are overloaded, you can get through anything. You have more strength than you ever thought possible. Sophia is beautiful and all babies, no matter if they have special needs or not go trough stages, and get past it and move on. They tend to have more stages that cause you lack of sleep as they go along. Take time for yourself. I know I hated leaving Joey with other people because I thought he could projectile vomit on them, or the colic would act up, or he would just be horrible, but you have to take time for you. Even now that he is four, I need to get away from him every now and then. We love our babies, and taking a break doesn't make us a bad mom or make it look like we don't love them. We need time to relax and refresh. We need to do lunch or dinner. Joey will love trying to entertain Sophia. Call me and let me know what your schedule is like and we will go somewhere and eat.
ReplyDelete